Reconnecting

This whole Facebook thing is really awesome. I have been connecting with people from elementary school and university, from camp and choir (okay, not that I really need to "find" people from choir, but I've made plans with Diva - in a good way, that nickname - a lot more through Facebook than e-mail). A couple of interesting developments to report:

I started a group that has really started to take off. Most of the people that I want to reconnect with are from high school, more specifically from band/music in high school. So I started a music alumni group and we now have about 17 members, with leads on a few others. A couple of friends started talking last year about a reunion, and I am unbelieveably obsessed with making this happen. I mean, I even have the date in mind, and I'm going to contact the venue where I think it should be held to inquire about pricing and availability. More details to come as this materializes. Needless to say, I'm really excited.

I've also reconnected with a guy I dated when I was 16. We met at a party when I was 15 and Ben was 21, spent the whole evening talking while most of the other guests were getting drunk. I just had a glass of wine, and I think he had a beer (he was driving). When he asked the host about me later, Ben was mortified that he was so interested in a 15 year old. End of story, or so I thought. My friend Beaker (who had taken me to the party) was still a lifeguard, as was Ben. He would periodically ask about me. Finally, in October (I was 16 by this point), I got up the nerve and called him. We spent a lot of hours on the phone over the next few weeks. I had a part time job at a shop that sold brass stuff (plant pots, vases, statues, gigantic giraffes, etc - I fucking hate brass now!). One evening, I was just completing a sale, writing out the invoice, when I could sense that another person was standing there. I said "I'll be with you in a moment" and that's when I looked up and it was Ben. I can picture him so clearly, it's like it was just last week. The other customer left and he and I chatted as I closed up and counted out the cash. Then he drove me home. This happened fairly frequently, and sometimes we'd go grab something to eat. Once, we were supposed to go to a friend's party after I finished work, but I kept ringing and she didn't hear the doorbell, so we went to a movie instead. The frustrating thing was that he was a total gentleman. I mean, I didn't want him to an aggressive jerk, but a little hand-holding would have been nice. I was so upset one night when I thought for sure he was going to kiss me and . . . nothin'! I think I got a bit annoyed with the whole thing, and we didn't see each other much. I was laid off from work (so was the other part-time girl - slow brass sales), and I dated someone else briefly. At the end of the school year, we were moving to another city, and Ben and I got together for lunch one time, and also went to the fireworks with my best friend and her boyfriend. Still nothing, until the night before I moved. I had been staying at my best friend's for about a week, and my parents and all of our stuff had moved to the new city - I was flying there the next day. Ben came over and we went for a walk. When we got back, my BF went inside, and Ben and I were saying goodbye. And we made out for about 20 minutes. It was really, really good, and all I could think of was "why now?!?!?!?!". Ben and I stayed in touch for a bit, and then he wrote to me that he was engaged (this was about a year later - it was May 1987). That hurt way more than I thought it would. I met her the following summer - I went to my best friend's for a weekend. We lost touch after that. Until this week on Facebook. His name is not uncommon but his parents had moved, so I'd been unable to get back in touch previously. The Facebook picture looked like him enough to message him and ask if he was the Ben who used to live on x street in oldtown. And he was. He did marry the fiancee in 1989, they split in '91, and he's been single ever since. Who knows, if we keep messaging on Facebook, I may ask him why he never made a move way back then. 'Cause I'm just that kind of curious!

There are a few more people I'm looking for, and several more that I'm really happy to be back in touch with. I promise to write if there are any more exciting reconnections. And now . . . off to the bus stop!