Who Knew I Was This Pissed Off?

It's been a while since I've had a decent update post. It has just been a little busy with work and other work (not to mention decorating work, which seems to be getting busier). I'll try and organize my thoughts into something cohesive (but I warn you, it may not happen)

The new car took longer to arrive than I would have liked. Actually, it arrived at the dealership on April 15th, but weren't able to pick it up until April 22. What the hell can take so long? Whatever, it's here. I returned the Ford Freestyle, and my dad drove me over to the Subaru dealership. I drove away in our sporty little Forester with the radio cranked up. My in-laws haven't seen it yet but my sister-in-law, Kat, has. She came over on Tuesday to check it out. She's always liked the look of the Forester, but never been in one so Hubby and the kids took her for a ride. The hilarious thing is that my in-laws always have to have something to talk about, and had been saying to Kat that they had no idea why we would get such a big car. Hello, it's TWO FEET shorter than the Freestyle!!! When Kat told me this, I checked dimensions against their Toyota Corolla, just for fun. Seems they're the ones with the big car - theirs is two inches longer and one inch wider than ours. Which I will ever-so-sweetly point out if they mention size to me :) Oh, Corwin is beyond excited that he is out of his booster seat (because he is over 80 pounds!). I have known for ages that this would happen before their eighth birthday, and have been preparing Clara accordingly. She knows that she's out as of October 2, and not one minute sooner. On a last car-related note, we should start a pool as to when I'm going to get my first speeding ticket - this car has some pep. I looked down and thought "oh, maybe I should slow down a bit" - I was doing 135 km/hr (speed limit is 100 km/hr). Oops.

The bear making place of employment is still fun. I did my first solo birthday party last Saturday, and it (thankfully!) went really well. It's unfortunate that my overall rating for the day was a big fat zero. We have to complete these sheets for every shift, rating ourselves in several areas (arrive on time? in proper dress? greet all customers with a smile? use open-ended questions to determine whether they want sounds in their bear? show them the survey number on the receipt? etc etc ). There are about 25 different things, and ratings are 0-5. If you miss any one of these, you will drop down to a 2. The minimum expectation is a 3, with 4 exceeding expectations, and 5 means you've done something amazing. Well, I didn't realize I had to do this one thing. It's not on the sheet, and I was asked to do it one Saturday, but I thought it was just for that day. I was supposed to turn over the sheet and write S and NS on the back, for sounds and no sounds and check off accordingly when I am at the stuffing machine (basically, trying to sell sounds to put inside the bear). And when I am in the clothing for the bears area, S and NS means shoes and no shoes. I did it the day I was asked to, but thought it was just for that day, that they were tracking something that weekend. I didn't do it the next day, and no one said anything. Considering I had been working there for 2 months when I was asked to do this, it wasn't surprising I thought it was a one time thing. Anyway, last Sat, I had a great party, and was well on my way to earning a 4 (plus I had to fill out this motivational BINGO card as well, and the place was packed, and I feel weird stopping between customers to write stuff down when there is a huge queue at the stuffer and I'm the only one filling bears). SO after a shift, you have to review the sheet with a manager/asst manager and get it signed (they keep them all in a binder, I guess to review performance). I was with one of the assistant managers, the one I feel the least comfortable with (after one other tiny little thing - a few weeks ago, we had just closed on a Sunday at 6. I was scheduled until 6, and they are usually sticklers about signing out and getting out as soon as your shift is over. Well, the asst manager asked me to sweep, and I knew Hubby and the kids were waiting for me, and he was probably getting pissed off because I told him I'd be out by 6:10. Anyway, I was trying to hurry and knocked over something and said "shit". Not loud, not yelled, and I was 3/4 of the way back in the store. The asst manager says "I heard that" and I laughed and said "we're closed, there aren't any kids here." And she starts with "what if a child was walking by and heard you? Yada yada yada" and I felt like saying "fuck off, I'm ten years older than you, not some little high school student!" . . . but I didn't). And she looks at the back of my sheet and says I get a zero because I didn't do the thing. And I told her that I hadn't realized that we were supposed to, was this an all the time thing, was it new, because I was only asked to do it that one time and hadn't been told any differently. And she said "all the time", and kept it a zero. Well, thank you very fucking much. On Sunday, I got a 3. On Wed I did my second party, which I was rated well on, and also got a 4 on the other sheet. I find this whole thing kind of weird - I've worked quite a bit of retail, including managing a scuba shop, and I've never worked for a place that is so driven by percentages and sales goals (we check hourly. HOURLY. To see if we're selling enough per guest - $ and items, plus percentages for shoes and sounds).

Allergy season is here. Corwin and Clara are both stuffy and have the post-nasal drip cough. Corwin's started last Friday, and I started giving him his Aerius. Clara's kicked in on Monday, and I think she has a bit of a cold, too. And Hubby's have started. By Wednesday, I was basically threatening divorce unless he got some allergy medication and started (not to mention continued) taking it because I can't deal with his itchy, sneezy grumpiness anymore!!! You'll be happy to know that he got himself some Aerius that night.

Flute choir is going well. We played in the Kiwanis Festival, but in a non-competitive class. There was one other flute choir in the class, and the adjudicator gave us both very good comments and feedback. Waverley (our conductor) told us afterwards that she thought we played much better than the other group, and that the comment about watching our tuning in the first piece was just so the adjudicator had something to say, because we were bang on. I'm not so sure she isn't a bit biased, but I think we had an awesome performance. The most interesting thing is that I didn't feel like I was going to throw up, and also wasn't tremendously nervous during. I didn't even start shaking, which is a first. Maybe I'm conquering the performance anxiety? Or maybe because there are eight players, I feel less exposed? Whatever it is, I'll take it!

Choir is overall going well, with a few little moments. Most notably is that a woman who used to be in the choir returned (she was before my time), and she is a second soprano. Gordon wanted her next to me, with Raindrop on her other side. When I asked where he was going to put Annie (very long story, but she ended up being between Raindrop and I for the concerts because Gordon needed Raindrop more in the middle since another strong second was away for the concerts. Annie gets frustrated easily, bitches about stuff during rehearsal, and often doesn't sing. She is on my right, with no one on my left. This is not so easy). Anyway, Gordon said to put Annie on the end, because she couldn't even bother coming to rehearsals. Fine. That was two weeks ago, and Annie hadn't come to practice or church since Easter. She showed up that Sunday, and got all huffy when I said she had moved to my left, and wouldn't stand there. I told her to talk to Gordon. Well, guess who got to stay where she wanted because otherwise there would have been a big fucking tantrum? Not me, that's for sure. The interesting thing is that since I was playing the flute for the communion motet at the back of the church, Annie ended up on the end. And she hissy fitted about that and went to stand at the other end because she doesn't like standing too close to one of the basses because "he creeps her out" (nevermind that he is in his late 50's at least, extremely round, walks with a cane, and has wicked asthma/emphysema - what the hell? Does she think he's going to attack her or something?). Last Thursday, Gordon was away, but Annie didn't come to rehearsal (keep in mind, the only time we've seen her since Easter was that Sunday), and I was away on Sunday (she wasn't there then, either). Well, she showed up last night. So there is me, on the end, with Annie to my right, then the returning woman, then Raindrop, and two others. The first sopranos were in front, but clumped together to the right, starting in front of Raindrop. So . . . I couldn't hear ANYTHING but basses, and occasionally Bugle Boy (which is nice, but since he's a tenor, not so helpful). I actually got teary at one point and had to disguise it a a sneeze, because I was so ridiculously frustrated. And then Annie starts freaking out about two of the pieces ("We're going too fast. I've never seen them before. How am I supposed to do this? I can't do this." Etc Etc Etc). So she's not fucking singing. And I am on my own, singing my ass off in this one really wicked piece that I LOVE because even though I'm a second, we have our own line in it, and it's not just about being the harmony to the firsts. And I have worked really hard on it, but have no one and I mean NO ONE to blend with because I CAN'T FUCKING HEAR ANYTHING!!!!!!! Yeah, I'm a little frustrated. I can deal with it for the next five weeks, because then choir is out for the summer, but Gordon needs to do something about it for the fall. Oh, and to add insult to injury, the seconds have to sing the stupid alto line in one of the pieces (that I know very well). I don't mind the divisi at one part, because it helps the altos a bit, and the split could go either way. But the last three bars? It's clearly alto and I'm really not happy. (side note to say to Beck that if you comment here about how you'd love to be an alto and I'm just complaining, I may have to kill you! :)

Wow, I think I may have a little bit of anger that I haven't been expressing very well - I'm actually shaking at the moment. Now I'm off to register Corwin and Clara for a week of day camp for July, and then I'm going to get my hair cut. Unfortunately, my stylist didn't have time for a cut and colour, so I guess I'll have to do some home colour myself.