Parent or Referee?
There are days that I should just put on the striped shirt when I wake up. The arguing, yelling, pinching, pushing, hitting, and crying starts the moment that they are both out of bed. What is the deal with this? Why can't they just love each other?!
The fact that I am an only child probably means that my tolerance for this sort of behaviour is lower than most. I never fought with anyone over my toys or where I sat ("I want to sit on the couch!" "No, that's MY spot!"). Frankly, the arguing over the most ridiculous and minute issues is driving me crazy. The whining that "Corwin took the train I was playing with" /"Did NOT!", or "Clara made a mess and won't help clean up" has made me understand why some species eat their young. Granted, the fact that they are twins means that they are at the same developmental stage, providing a few more challenges. I can't very well say "you're older, so you know better", since three minutes age difference is pretty insignificant. The biggest problem is that Corwin is so much bigger than Clara. At five and a half years of age, Clara is tall, but petite - somewhere between 38 and 40 lbs. Corwin is even taller, and weighs about 59 lbs. He looks like he's about 7! This major weight discrepancy leads to some interesting issues. Such as, Corwin can pin Clara very easily. She doesn't like it (who would?), so she pinches him. And it escalates from there. Argh!
Happily, as they get older, they are using their conversational abilities more and more. It is mostly when they are tired that the physical altercations take place. And they do play together very well. It's fabulous that they can now play "Trouble" or trains, or colour together without needing constant supervision. If discord occurs, often a little separation will do the trick (such as "why don't you take your Barbies to your room, then Corwin has space to drive his trucks?"). I guess it would be delusional to hope that they live in peace and harmony all the time. Although it would be very nice. I can always hope. Until then, I'll be wearing my referee shirt - and possibly breaking out the whistle!
posted by Canada @ 9:40 a.m.
1 Comments:
I firmly believe in pinching children to get them to adhere to a stringent behaviour defined by, well, pinching. Pinching seems to have a long lasting effect on children. Pinching is cost effective and if done properly, it is entirely safe. Pinching dates back to mid-evil times when a "pinchress" would be hired to pinch children who were being naughty. On display at the museum of Delaware, the decayed corpse of a Pinchress' with grossly over developed hand muscles lead to denser bone mass is blatantly obvious of the Pinchress. Those are the subtle clues that we highly intellectual types use to bring the truth from our mysterious, yet wondrous pasts to light and can use as the moral fibers of our beliefs today.
Note: We deny any "allegations" or claims of being inebriated or high on "mary jane" "marijuana" while doing the above case study.
If pinching is not your "thing", drinking large quantities of alcohol while the children argue does prove to be equally effective. In several studies we coined this technique as the "deafen & neglect" methodology. This technique does require a consistent intake of alcohol in order to create the buzz-like effect that leads to the tranquil numbness we call "the deaf zone". Your children will quickly learn that they can be as mean as they want to each other, tear each others heads off, but mommy's just not coming, she can't hear us and if she does, look out! It won't be pretty! This is the wondrous benefit automatically results once you have successfully achieved "the deaf zone". Additional benefits are, YOU feel Grrrrrrrreat!
So, PICK YOUR POISON! Just know that help, it's out there. Wayyy out there.
;-)
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