My Big Debut

I did not sleep well at all on Saturday night. I kept having the refrain run through my head, and various phrases from the psalm when I was trying to sleep. And the nervousness translated into my dreams. In my dream, I went to church in my pajamas. I mean, they're nice pajamas, but not so much for church! My dream-self kept wanting to change, but didn't think I'd have time. Then I realized that Gordon (the music director) was not there - he left for a conference and forgot to tell me. So another lady from the choir was playing the organ. This left my dream-self very confused, and even more so when someone else got up to sing a psalm - an entirely different one. Then I wasn't sure if I was supposed to go next, or later, and I was still grappling with the pajama issue. It was almost a relief when Hubby told the real me it was five to eight, and time to get up.

I managed to grab a bite for breakfast, and headed out at about 9:20. Later than I'd planned, but still enough time to get there for the run through at 9:45. I sang in the car to warm up (so not a morning person, and neither is my voice!), and found parking with no problem. I sat quietly in church for a few minutes, and then Gordon arrived. There were a few people already there, and I managed the run through just fine. Okay, I was ready, and wanted to get the show on the road - so I could be done and stop worrying! Finally it was 10:15, and the service started. Summer is a bit different - no Sunday school, the altar is relocated (well, they use a different one), no choir, and no processional at the beginning. Instead, there is a gathering hymn - the same each week - followed by some quiet time for reflection/meditation (mine? "Please let me get through this!" Breathe, breathe. Repeat). Then the service started. The greeting, the collect, the collect for the day, a reading, then . . . the psalm. (and then the rest - the service obviously didn't end with the psalm!). As the woman doing the first reading stood up, I picked up my choir folder. And hoped she had a lot to read. There were more people than I was hoping for - it's a long weekend, shouldn't they be camping? At the cottage? The reading ended, and I stood up as she came to sit down. I made it up the three steps to stand by the organ, turned around, and opened my folder.

Gordon played the introduction and the refrain, then I sang it, and then again with the congregation. Verse one, refrain, verse two, refrain, verse three, refrain, verse four, refrain, verse five - the killer "and worship him upon his holy hill" was in here - refrain. Go sit down. Breathe. I did it. Gordon's aunt was sitting right behind me, and whispered that it sounded great when I came back. And during the peace, a woman from the choir who has an amazing voice came to tell me that I sang well. I hadn't realized how many choir members were there before I sang (and I'm glad, because I would have been more nervous), but it was nice to get a lot of feedback after the fact. Oh, and I managed to sing the whole thing, and project, and appear to be looking out, while maintaining focus only on the music!

So . . . it sounds like I might be added to the psalm rotation in the fall. I'll have to wait and see. The good news about that is that even if I'm worried, the pajamas wouldn't be an issue - I'll be wearing my choir robe! Oh, as for wardrobe - I ended up wearing fitted black linen cropped pants that have side slits, black Bass wedge sandals (slip on, 2.5" heel), and a white cotton/linen blouse, the kind that stays untucked, that has a bit of a ruffle at the moderately low-cut neckline. Comfy, and cool.