Thirteen Things about CANADA My Worst Hangovers (and basically, there haven't been many more than this at all) 1. The first - I was 16. I drank everything, including peppermint schnapps. I passed out. And threw up. I didn't drink again for a VERY long time! (also couldn't look at KFC coleslaw or chicken) 2. The summer I was 18. I drank Canada Cooler - the original and the peach. I was pissed off at my boyfriend, so I drank more. Sleeping in a waterbed with no baffles. . . not so good. 3. Oct 18, 1987. I was still 18. It was my one year anniversary with the boyfriend from #2. I was away at university, and had also started dating Hubby (the boyfriend and I had stupidly agreed not to beak up over the phone or in a letter). I drank a litre and a half of Baby Duck. Ugh!!!! And the next day, Hubby and a friend brought me brunch. It was about 4 pm before I finished. 4. Aug 1990. A Friday night at the end of the month. Two friends from high school came from Toronto to London, Ont to visit me. We went out partying, and they stayed over. I was rather slow the next morning at the scuba shop where I worked. 5. Aug 1991. Tequila shots in an Ohio campground. The campground had no running water. There was me, and 5 guys camping (2 people in the van, and there were 2 tents). Don knew I liked tequila, and brought a quart. Everyone had a shot with me, except Rob, who had 2 (he'd never had it before). I really got into lick the salt, swig the tequila, bite the lemon, FLING the peel! When I woke up in the morning and staggered from my tent, I thought my eyes had malfunctioned. But no, there were yellow flashes - everywhere! Lemon peels. Ugh. And we were there for the last dives of our Advanced course in scuba (oh, and I worked at the shop which the instructor owned). I did the first dive, nearly threw up in my regs, and sat out the second dive. 6. Last weekend of Sept, 1991. Doing my Master's in Miami. I went to Pigeon Key with the Scuba and Sailing clubs. The Saturday night, we went to Key West. There were beverages, and then we came back to Pigeon Key and drank some more. Kind of a rough return to Miami the next day (not just for me!) 7. Fall, 1992. Went to a friend's place in West Palm Beach, went clubbing. Ordered a Kir Royale (I'd been drinking wine, and was trying to stick with wine-based stuff). Somehow, they gave me Crown Royal. Straight. Not a good choice. Not a good morning. 8. Spring, 1993. My friend Maro was a booker at the Ford Modelling Agency. She had connections to great parties, and we went out with her (very hot, Australian photographer) friend. There were many drinks and a lot of dancing. Not much sleep. I was still drunk when I woke up. Bad, very bad. 9. May 1995. I was married, but doing my internship at Miami Children's Hospital and Hubby was in Ottawa. My friend Nautica and I went and stayed at another friend's beach house on Isla Morada in the Keys. We tanned and hung out all afternoon, then went to the Tiki Bar that is quite famous in the area. Nautica was meeting this fireman, and he brought a friend. Lucky me, I got to hang out with him. I kept getting frozen drinks - Rum Runners, Pina Coladas, Daiquiris - that were made in Slurpee machines. Nautica's dude was getting annoyed because she kept watching me, happily drinking and quite tipsy, dancing with this other guy. She kept saying "I've never seen her like this!" Well, the next morning, it was a long drive back to Miami. An Arby's Jamocha shake helped me feel human again. 10. Summer, 1998 or 1999. A Sunday. Hubby and I were in Oakville visiting my parents. I was staying for the week, and Hubby left, but was coming back the following weekend. We had roast beef and red wine. The fourth bottle (Barolo!!! We've never had it again!)was a bad idea. The quote "my brain is banging against my skull" still makes my Mom laugh! 11. New Year's Eve, 2002. Our neighbours had a party. We didn't have a babysitter, so we switched off (Hubby went for a bit, then I went, and so on). Until the karaoke came out. He came home and sent me with gin and tonic. The bottle was gone when I finally came home (on my own steam - no one realized how drunk I was because it was another neighbour who was "relaxing" on the bathroom floor). I couldn't get vertical until 3:30 pm - and we had guests coming for dinner! 12. Austin, TX, Nov 2004. Music Therapy Conference. Out on the town with Bert, Pearl, and Berly. Sampling one of each on the martini menu. Things went downhill when they mixed in a champagne cocktail. "Are you here to meet a cowboy?" from some Texan guy, followed by him buying us a round, me telling him I didn't need anything (because I had realized that I was SMASHED). And then he asked me if I wanted to go back to my hotel, to which I said yes (I think we had different meanings - he thought Canadian girls were REALLY frendly, and I just needed to pass out). We left him at the bar, and took a horse-drawn carriage back. I made it to my room. It wasn't pretty the next morning. Toast and bacon that took hours to eat. Pearl refused to get me Gatorade because it's bad for your teeth. I finally got some, was fine within an hour - the next spring I made Pearl drink Gatorade to cure her hangover, and she was impressed by how well it works. 13. This morning. Too much white wine last night. Some Gatorade, a Grande Blackberry Green Tea Frappucinno (no whip) from Starbucks, and some Advil. The long ride to African Lion Safari during which I could close my eyes, and . . . as good as new.

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